Stereotyped!

                 

            I am much aware about the adjectives given to the single child viz., spoilt, selfish, anti-social. Being stereotyped is an old affair for ‘the onlys’. I very often find myself going defensive about myself by saying, ‘yes, I am single to my parents but I blend with my cousins very easily’ ‘I am not awful but as normal as others’ ‘O’yes, I like sharing and it comes spontaneous to me’ ‘No, no, I am not a loner!’ ‘Yes, I do things my way but that even the ones who have siblings do!’ ‘I can handle pressures’ 'Well, I don’t like to take sarcastic humor or pulling down humor, but has this anything to do with me being the only child’ ‘Not that everyone likes to fight but arguments make me super-uncomfortable’ ‘yeah, I cry easily but I am a human and humans sometimes suck and they don’t only suck because they are the only child’  ‘I like my privacy and respect others’ privacy too’.

        Due to the stereotypes of ‘the onlys’ of being shy, emotionally under-developed and socially awkward, my parents trained me to be socially outward by constantly putting me into group activities and oration competitions, sending me home-away in cousins for months, putting me into boarding at an early age, letting me extend my friend circle and many times having a friendly chat with me in my teenage.

    Well! Research says that, ‘siblings can have a buffering effect when there is a parental dysfunction in the home, in which case having siblings tends to dilute the negative impact of such stressors’. Siblings can share the death or health worries of the parents which otherwise is pretty scary for a single child to bear. On the other hand, in the world of siblings, ‘the onlys’ very often face a setback of being ignored, being less-trusted in their tasks, being underestimated, being judged for their smallest behavior and often looked down for their less confidence apparently. As a single child as I have been thriving to give my best in relationships, duties, domestic tasks, humanitarian approach, I do not get an equivalent response from the world of siblings. I try to hunt for a sibling in a friend, a permanency in a relation, a family in a relative, a bonding in a relation, and I also try to pour in the best of mine. On a temporary basis I do get a cozy response for my investment of emotions but it always comes with validity. After some time I am supposed to re-invest and renew the bond by proving myself again and get nominated once again for the relation. If I give the best or better than before then I am reconsidered for the relations or else I am judged for being detached or I fail to be as attached as before as per their scale. I don’t know whether the siblings have to prove their existence and ability to each other in a relation again and again but I will definitely like to relieve myself from the pressure of relation validity, of being judged and also the repetitive proving affair. The way ‘the onlys’ want to be a part of your family or easily accept the other one as a family; similarly they should be accepted unconditionally and without any relation-expiry-date.