माया: A Tailor-made Concept

 

They say, a goal without a plan is just a wish and also a very good plan, but no work is a plan wasted. A plan if made very hard and fast, can generate a peer pressure, psychologically and eventually, physically too. If we make a plan using a pencil, then there is a flexibility of erasing and replacing a part of a plan. So if we keep a margin, then we get a scope of modification and it also relaxes our mind with an opportunity for creative thinking. Everyone should have this plus or minus possibility of deviation from a standard factor and why not? Even a tailor keeps a margin while stitching an outfit. Margin is the seam provided inside the garment after the stitching edge-line which gives the flexibility for any kind of alteration in our body in future. Every blouse has a minimum of 3-4 marginal stitches allowable from the edge-line, it is called as ‘maya’. Such a beautiful concept which allows you to simply fit-in with no judgements and looking-down phenomenon. Peaceful psychology loves back-up or alternate plans and this leads to minimum hormonal disturbances. The changing body seasons with pre, post menstrual stages, the peri, the menopausal and the post menopausal phases, the teenage, the adolescence changes the physical structure too. Every change calls for concern and adaptation, hence traditionally the concept of ‘maya’, margin has been adopted for the blouses. It’s like saying, don’t worry, it’s normal to have that scope of a change, you can still wear what you have, not only fabric but also smile, confidence and beauty. Keeping maya is normalising a situation which is undergoing a change. It’s okay to gain weight that your body can effortlessly carry. There is nothing that one can compare with. As far as you are eating homemade food and homing good food-for-thoughts in mind, with reasonable movement of body-machine, nothing can disturb the peace of mind. If your mind is luggage free and psychologically cushioned with flexibility to accept the situation around, consistent implementation of productive and creative work will be the result.

The squiggly duckling!

Friends, I was invited as a guest speaker in a known college of Nasik. I was explaining MSc Microbiology students a technique which was worked upon by David Deamer as a result of close collaboration between industrial and research fundings. It took him 25 years of a process to come up with this working model and it was named as nanopore sequencing. This technology allows sequencing the DNA base-by-base. It seems the DNA squiggles due to obstruction created just as it’s strand passes in through a protein pore under the electrical influence, like a thread slides through the hole of a needle. Squiggle is a haphazard pattern developed just like a short line that curves and twists in a way that is characteristically unique as a result of getting exposed to some external factor. Our mind too has this ability of drawing such patterns. In clinical psychology the kind of squiggles scribbled on a paper depicts the status of a mind, whether scattered or focused. A pencil-and-paper technique used by English psychoanalyst Donald Woods Winnicott to help humans express their feelings and thoughts. The game is unstructured, allowing one to share the ideas freely. It has no rules, the journey is from subconscious mind to the surface of the paper. It depicts the state of the thoughts going in the mind. Doodles that include circles and curved lines depicts more relaxed mind whereas dots and random squiggles may represent confusion, ambiguity, or a lack of clarity, and the act of drawing them may be a way to organize or make sense of chaotic thoughts. Symbols represent intentional state whereas angles and lines represent anxiety, stressed situation. Like an action has a reaction, every thought is squiggly and there is a pattern to it. The way DNA in every living cell produces a squiggle pattern, macro form of our body and the mind also squiggles as a response or reaction to a situation. Squiggly lines suggest the middle-ground between direction and exploration. You may know where you need to go, but not how to get there. Angular zigzags are different. Their straight lines and sharp corners denote aggression or impatience, and are commonly associated with masculine traits. More the mesh and complexity of the thoughts, more complicated squiggle will be generated. Under a stressful condition, creativity switch gets off and every painful thought will give a characteristic, unique squiggle helpful in the psychoanalysis. It is said that regularly chanting the beej mantra (om chanting) reduces stress, anxiety, restlessness and promotes the calming effect. Healthy rhythmic heartbeat brings with it mindfulness and eventually, spiritual growth. Regular meditation reduces anxiety, post traumatic stress and squiggling. It optimises the rhythmic patterns of breathing and balances the thought process. One becomes sorted, focused, self-aware and concentrated. Meditation and om chanting is reported to decrease the toxic oxygen levels and maintain the length of chromosome endings, telomeres, thereby increasing the longevity. From the DNA to the cellular signals to the behavioural pattern of human, everything is so linked to each other. The status of one cell can represent the status of the entire body. Healthy cell is an identity of a healthy body.

A game changer: To be or not to be!

Mindset matters the most! 

Let us see what is the difference between the alpha and the beta kind of a mindset. Our mind is swinging like a pendulum between alpha and beta form majorly. Alpha is more about being alert, perceptive, relaxed, with an activity of taking charge of yourself, executing it and sticking more to being wise, then morality. Beta mindset is more of getting carried away with the flow, desiring a label of ‘the nice person’, full of anxiety, at times panic mode, and inflexibility in the thought process, more of the rigid kind internally though. 

It is okay if our mind inclines to swing towards the beta mindset, but far more important is taking charge of our mindset and guiding it towards the alpha mindset.     Alpha mindset helps us control our thought process, tracking it on to a strong mindset, with adaptation and stable evolution. In ability to take responsibilities, constant tendency of acting as victims, waiting for the world to tell what to do, and what not are associated with the beta type of mindset. This kind of mindset leads to depression and inability to coexist. To spark the beta form into an alpha kind of a mindset should be our goal. Alpha mindset gets developed and maintained over a time period. Alpha mindset is a winning mindset, a lifestyle and a constant way to life. It is about releasing from something that is holding you back, it is about widening your horizons and possibilities and it is about coming out of your comfortable zone. It is about taking chances and not giving up. It is about realising that there is always choices, and the option which we choose mindfully and attentively will mould not only our mindset, but also our life. Alpha mindset is about being calm, but also alert, exploring your full potential, it’s about human maintenance, it’s about charging relations, it’s about finding your mission and at the same time understanding the dangers of the modern life. It definitely has nothing to do with aggression rather it has something to do with meditation and special breathing techniques (pranayama). It is about delimiting your thoughts at the same time understanding the restriction of limits.

The Co-passenger

 

It was a lazy, foggy morning and I was running behind the time. A quick dry-fruit-Laddu breakfast and a little yoghurt was enough for me to make a hasty start. I murmured a fast track gratitude line to God, curled up my hair,  clutched it up and stepped down the staircase as I fixed my shoes on my way. A loud bye to mommy as I bang the ‘C’ shaped lock on the gate. The sound distressed my neighbouring aunty as she slided her window glass to watch me disappear. I walked briskly, crossed the road and stuffed myself inside the autorickshaw, like a smashed potato inside a bun. The rickshaw stopped at a few locations where initially a teen got down, then the senior citizen couple got down and that’s when a lady got in. The rickshaw headed towards the college that I work in as a professor. The rickshaw driver looked at me through the front mirror until I gave him a stern glare. I pulled on my mask with the threat of catching flue virus in air. Through the puddles and pits on the road, rickshaw managed to go further, sometimes avoiding them and at times bouncing back. There were signals where we stopped and I happen to realise that people especially men of all the ages were peeping and staring inside the rickshaw. I stopped my thought process and a revision of my ‘things to do’ list, and looked at the front mirror if all was well on my face. I shrugged off my observation and got back on my thinking track. Soon due to traffic we slowed down and repeatedly I found men including the traffic police looking inside the rickshaw without a blink of an eye. I became super conscious and uncomfortable about this and it started bothering me now. As all the masculine looks pooled inside our rickshaw, I managed to look at the co-passenger sitting next to me. She was a girl in teens, wearing red salwar kurta with a beige dupatta having a jari border. She had a milky fair tone and flawless skin. Her big golden jhumkas had shining stones studded and hair were bleached golden. She had worn laakh bangles with flashy mirror work. Her eyes were lined thickly with a black kajal and she pressed her lips to signify the urgency of her own. She wore a very flashy make up and her lipstick was super dark maroon with a brown outline. She looked overdone in her appearance in the daylight. Her body language was extraordinarily familiar to men and by now my 6th sense had learnt that she was none other than a sex worker. She was in hurry to catch for her schedule aligned by her for a basic livelihood. As the multidirectional incidental glares fell on her, her vibes refracted them back with a shield of ignorance and indifference. As I was solving this jigsaw of observations, she asked the driver to stop the rickshaw, while getting down hurriedly, she placed a roll of currency on his palm and walked into a direction hurriedly. Me, the driver, the autorickshaw and the strong lingering rosé fragrance of my co-passenger headed further on the road ‘not-so-busy’. Every rising day comes with a haste, a plan to accomplish and a timeline which places every single human on a common, unbiased platform. Every co-passenger has a storyline, a deadline, a timeline and a lifeline, which is unmatched. 

Magic of Baby Steps!

 

Small steps have big significance in reaching mightiest goals. When the challenges are understood at first place, broken down into chunks that are sizeably digestible, it becomes easier to take actions. Taking baby steps helps reduce anxiety and panic mode. Baby steps help us avoid overwhelming situations in stressful times. Rather worrying on the intensity of the goal, we learn to focus on the very small steps taken consistently and consciously towards the goal. Small progress every day boosts in loads of confidence in us. It improves the quality inch by inch and step by step. Micro planning and keeping up with the movement every single day is the key. Rather than heaping and wondering where to start, and banging into a day-night stand to meet the goal, it is mindful to break your work in small tasks easy to achieve on a constant basis. Mini victories are great propellers towards success. Taking baby steps also justify being gentle and nurturing to yourself. Pausing and slowing down although underrated, is something that makes a difference. Mini victories are simple, real and quickly achievable. Mini victory helps us achieve the mini goal which is a vital part of the major goal. The small habits that we inculcate with discipline and dedication help us get in a win-win state. Norman Schwarzkopf says, “the more we sweat in peace, the less we bleed in war”. This is the magic and joy of mini steps for whichever target we aim to accomplish in our lives.

My first love!

 

पद्माकर रामचंद्र भावसार (01.05.1954 to 22.01.2004) 

In these 20 years, since the time he has gone into another world, I have never expressed anything related to my father on a social platform. The reason is simple it being a very sensitive corner of my heart, difficult to put in words. But today I gather The strength and wisdom from my father And I have penned down a few words regarding him. The main reason why I write this is because it’s been two decades that physically he isn't around us and a number of people have been sharing thoughts related to him, like the relatives, the teachers from Saint Philomena, the students from so many batches of the school, his fellow mates from the writers group, his friends and all the people whom I don’t even know but he has happened to touch their lives in some or the other ways. In these 20 years I have been a listener to so many of the experiences shared by people regarding how he had stood beside them when the waters were troublesome. In these 20 years I and my mother have been breathing under the shade of the legacy that he left behind. The legacy of sharing, caring, helping, guiding, and simply being there with a true heart. This legacy is a new richness today when we long for good humans. Many of the people remember him for his light humour which would surface up exactly when the time wasn’t good, diluting the pain and increasing the strength. He volunteered a lot of  painstaking efforts for the Bhavsar क्षत्रिय समाज upbringing. He was the one who established a separate महिला मंडळ in Bhavsar क्षत्रिय समाज,  cidco, Nasik. He is cherished for his empathy quotient, social quotient, creativity quotient and communication skills. He is remembered for so much of literary contributions. Some well known dramas written and directed by him are 'प्रायश्चित्त', 'चार रेषांचा त्रिकोण' and 'बेकार ' , these were played in परशुराम साईखेडकर नाट्यगृह, नाशिक. His बालनाट्य,   'गोष्ट एका शेंडीची' gained popularity in several shows played in कालिदास कलामंदिर, नाशिक. 'जानता राजा ', 'बॉबी ची गोष्ट ' and 'Son of God' written and directed by him received love in Nasik and the videos even traveled across country. Several बालनाट्य  written and directed by him were 'मुले tv वर जातात ', 'मुले चोर पकडतात ', 'चामडेपती झिंदाबाद ', 'किस्सा अपहरणाचा ', 'संदेश शांतीचा ', 'जेथे जातो तेथे' and 'detective राजू '. The कथा penned by him 'वामन ओढेकर' gained praises in 'धमाका ' दिवाळी अंक and his several write ups gained popularity in साप्ताहिक 'नगारा ' दिवाळी विशेषांक. He gained popularity through his daily column write up in गावकरी in the name of 'मनस्वी'. He was the first marathi writer to reach on internet in 1997 in the internet edition of पुणे दर्शन दिवाळी अंक, through his humorous katha 'धूमधुमाल'. He was all in one, चित्रकार,  व्यंगचित्रकार, नाटककार,  कवी and साहित्यिक. He was a super active member of सार्वजनिक वाचनालय, महाराष्ट्र साहित्य पत्रिका,  वसंत व्याख्यानमाला,  व्यक्ति विकास मंच,  संवाद: एक वाङ्मयीन चळवळ,  रोटरी क्लब and नासिक कविसंमेलन संघटना. His one of the attention seeking and heart touching poem was 'लहान माझी बाहुली ' regarding gender equity those days. One of the most impact making drama he directed was 'कारगील' for which he used LCD projector those days. Those days when there was no watsapp and internet, his write ups related to 'राष्ट्रीय एकात्मता', 'सामाजिक बांधिलकी' and 'भ्रष्टाचार आजचा शिष्टाचार ' were displayed in गणपती decorations and सार्वजनिक वाचनालय premises on hoardings. They went viral with mouth publicity and gained a lot of attention. He was teacher who would make students cry when he taught us 'कलिंगड' and would make us laugh when he taught us 'व्यक्ति आणि वल्ली '. Due to his multifaceted personality he touched the lives of thousands of students and he was also awarded the prestigious 'आदर्श शिक्षक पुरस्कार' सार्वजनिक वाचनालय नासिक. His काव्यसंग्रह 'फुलोरा ' duely autographed by his mentor वि. वा. शिरवाडकर was published at the hands of मा. दादासाहेब पोतनीस and श्री किशोर पाठक in the presence of his friends, followers, writers, and relatives.

आज ही अनेकांचे प्रेरणास्थान आणि श्रद्धास्थान असलेल्या माझ्या वडीलांना व त्यांच्या स्मृतीस शब्दरुपी आदरांजली 🙏

प्रा. डॉ. स्वाती पद्माकर भावसार, सूक्ष्मजीवशास्त्रज्ञ, H.P.T. आर्ट्स अँड R.Y.K सायन्स कॉलेज,  नासिक.

Motherhood is an attitude!

Motherhood is an epitome of love, sacrifice, and bonding. Being a mother is like holding a soul full of empathy and understanding. Other way round, being considerate and mindfully connected is also being motherly. Everyone is aware of a biological mom’s story, her pain, her evolution, adaptation, and success journey. Being a mom is about much more than giving birth. Biological or non-biological moms and mother figures are the ones who love you unconditionally irrespective of all the odds. They keep your well-being and happiness on top of their mind, pinch you when necessary, encourage you, laugh with you, and so much more. Due to the depth of involvement of non-biological mothers, the concept of 'kinship families' is spreading worldwide. Foster mothers, kinship moms, and stepmothers are setting new gold standards. So if a question arises from a child, 'can I call you mom?' It's either the child has no experience of having a mother or the biological mother hasn't really played a role enough timely for the child. The child hasn't been able to share his experience or feelings or pain with his mother whenever it was the need of the time. Although his daily requirements were fulfilled, he had to search another mother figure for sharing and expressing his feelings through various phases of his life. The sharing could be related to emotions, some kind of a pain, psychological discomfort, happiness,  curiosity,  anxiety, excitement, well finished tasks, contentment, fear, and all the daily up-downs. There is no other discomfort than burying the emotions and carrying the luggage. If father is a  mother-enough, it will go all well, otherwise, child seeks in for another mother figure. The kid or the teenager finds solace in sharing all her experiences with the mother figure who is  an aunt, a teacher, or any other well deserved mother soul. Non-biological moms are being truly responsible and are being there whenever required. They have been saviours to the biological moms for being angels to their children and setting them on the route. There is always a vice-versa moment or phases in life that calls for a bridge to avoid a fall. If biological moms are God gifted, non-biological moms are God sent. God bless all the mother souls who beautifully play their roles irrespective the genders, the age, the relation, and all the odds in their life. They might have not carried the child for 9 months but they shower their dedication and protect the child throughout their life. On this Mother’s Day let’s remember and also thank all such mother figures. 

“ Not flesh of my flesh,

Nor bone of my bone,

But still miraculously my own,

         Never forget for a single minute,

   You didn’t grow under my heart, but in it”