Kinship: Wings or Shackles?

 

Wings or Shackles?

We are travelling in the journey of life together with our partner, ensuring we carry equivalent responsibilities, understanding towards each other’s pain and happiness, clear communication and honesty when it comes to a feedback, so it is mostly a hand-in-hand walk in many relations. Sometimes there could be a temporary gap where one partner is in focus and other is not but eventually in a healthy companionship, partners will take efforts to compensate the gap and stand together equally in the circle of life called ‘us’. This is the ideal scenario.

  Despite of a lot of trust uploaded into each other, I personally feel that we fail to gift the wings of freedom to each other in the form of solace. Every individual has a space or corner, that domain is either ME or YOU. There is a separate domain with partner & child called US.

 

In the individual domain of YOU or ME, are the separate sub-domains for parents, for colleagues, for society and for friends. Many couples keep each other in emotional shackles (not healthy bonding) where the mental freedom is killed, which can permanently supress the personality of the partner in the due course and therefore we must remember that,

I don’t own anyone and no one owns me

I am an individual and I take my responsibility

I need my freedom and I dont wish to always be in emotional shackles

…. SO DOES MY PARTNER!

What are the best ways to help your partner realise the bliss of freedom and give her/him a perfect mental rejuvenation,

a. Let your partner tour with his/her friend circle

b. let your partner go on a solo tour

c. let him/her enjoy a get together with his parents and cousins on his own.

When we mentally record that the partner must have his/her separate world to remain mentally fit and to return back happily conducive for the relationship, that time, we prove to be an understanding better-half.

If we continue to keep the partner in shackles under the label of responsibilities or using the emotional card, it becomes a new normal for both and a regular affair. Such kind of viscious circle of entrapment in the long run turns into a red flag either for the relation or for the health of the supressed (or unexpressed) partner.

Instead, build the trust in the relation and perceive or give the wings of freedom to the partner.